“…From the Depth of my heart.
With Loves Fieriest Passion
Moving sentiments from the strangest face. Pompous paper, with seductive mysteries had broken my stride, penetrated my world on a canvas of concrete, pebbles and dashings of earth. Curiosity won in straight sets. My hast for the convenience stores concessionary corner was calmed, but life gifted justly, after all, “Life is like a box of chocolate you never know what you’re gonna…”
“Get it through you’re head, Its you, only you, its always been you! This is hard and …”
Painful, the curiosity grips intensely. Oh mystery, you burn me. The letters were loud, Jittery loops of fire, quivering curves of angst, ink drenched regret on the paper that caught fire when a broken heart burst.
Operation skittles and M&M’s, was belittled by them and them. The hearts and minds of him and her. There was her, there was him. There was Karis, there was Dave. But Karis and her fire ignited this parchment with this ember that rattled incessantly in ink, and in turn, my mind.
The cold concrete and morning dew had stolen these words and suffocated there messenger. Only the faintest breathe of an address, the residues of a final hope, lingered on the tattered sleeve of Manila.
I was thrust in a storm of hearts, this slither of lightning teased me with a flash, a glimpse of passion ,lust and maybe distrust.
Seymour road is 5 Minutes away. Seymour road is 10 minutes and 20 houses long.
For Love, for the Lust for Mystery. I marched on destiny’s unpredictable tempest.
12 thoughts on “Writing 101 – Day Five: Loose leaf of a Lament”
the first thing I said to myself was: WOW. MIT really makes me wonder what goes through your mind while you write it! 😀 keep up the amazing work, I hope I can write like you someday!
Thank you saw much! That means a lot. Especially from a writer such as yourself. I hope to keep it up. 🙂
Aww thank you! I never thought I was that good at writing but I appreciate it! 😀 I’m excited to see what you can come up with for the next few exercises! 😀
Wow…this is packed with very powerful imagery. I found myself reading it at different paces…something looping back to reread parts. Not from confusion, just because I like the music of the words. “Curiosity won in straight sets”…awesome. The “operation Skittles” paragraph interrupts the flow a bit. Calling your trip to the store an operation is funny (at least it was to me), but I didn’t want to laugh at that point. The remainder of the paragraph is somewhat redundant of what was said earlier. Try reading the piece out loud and leaving the paragraph out…just as an experiment. As for the closing sentence, and now I’m just going to sound stupid, I THINK this means that the story teller has decided to do a bit of investigating. If so, I’m not sure how I feel about that. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m a little confused by the closing sentence or if it’s because I want the story to end there. I don’t know…this last piece of feedback may be too much about me as a reader…perhaps you should ignore it.
Thanks I really appreciate the feedback, I’m glad you could be caught up in the writing. I like to look at the pieces I write from different view points. Yeah the end was meant to be him carrying out the investigation, I did have a bit of humour at heart when I wrote “operation skittles….” I have a habit of growing attached to little bits. Slowly learning to be able to cut even these parts for the benefit of the whole piece. Thanks for the feedback I really do appreciate it
Writers should protect their words with their lives (OK…that’s a little overblown, but you get the point). I’m not a professional writer nor a profession editor (and I certainly wouldn’t want to be the latter), so you should take my feedback with boatloads of salt. I’m heading to your loss piece next…
Haha protect out words with our lives is a very well suited phrase for a writer. I’ll have salt at hand when I read the feedback. It’s nice to here another point of view.
You’re writing is great, I would love if you could give me some feedback. I’m new to this whole blog thing, http://www.elusivethoughtsinmind.wordpress.com/
Hey, thanks 🙂 sure thing, I’ll head over there now. And welcome to the blogging world
Learning as I go
Wow.. That was superb. I started reading, and i was like i gotta follow this blog. Excellent writing.
Thank you very much, that means a lot. I’m do glad I could entertain. 🙂