Writing 101, Day 4: Seriously lost 

 

We slip through this river of time together, I remember your faces. It’s a crowded place sometimes, at times its deadly silent, I don’t know where this current takes us, but I’m certain our journey’s end. We are never in the same place twice, that is the nature of this river, it is the beauty of time.

We start off with nothing, we leave with nothing, somehow somewhere in the middle we feel as though we’ve earned things, gained things, made things ours. Sometimes we hold tightly to everything we have, sometimes we lose a thing or two to the white wash of passing moments. Maybe we lose them because we couldn’t hold them tight enough, we were not strong enough. Maybe we lose them because we held on too tight, or maybe we lose  them because there was nothing to there hold on to in the first place. 

Loss is inevitable, I have lost and left a lot behind, I am familiar with the sudden sense of lacking. I’m not saying I am happy about losing, I’m not saying it has gotten easier with time, but I look at the losses differently now, I see what it is left, what it was I truly  lost. 

I never thought I was losing you when I dreamed of change. I assumed, I assumed you would follow, that you would finally see the visions I painted into our summers. I just assumed you’d always be that spontaneous voice on the other end of the phone, coaxing me out for another day under the sun, another day to settle our tumultuous spirits, away from where the world teased us into tightly clenched pockets of confusion. I miss always knowing your home was mine. I look back and call for you at times, I try to pretend you’ll come, but you only wave and smile at me, I guess that’s enough for now. 

I never thought I would lose you, my second in command, my partner on my every conquest. We took to life with the winds of youth at our wings, with the endless string of chances we thought we had ready at hand. They doubted us then, they are doubting us now, but still we cut our way against there negativity. It’s a shame that we seem to doubt each other now, just as much as they did us.

 I never thought I’d lose the stage that claimed our memories. Behind our closed doors we dreamed of building our legacies. I realised that I had to swim to build that dream, treading water has lost its allure. 

I remember our wildest nights. When the sun forfeited its flight, we did what they all did, we marched amongst the wild and free. I hated when the guise had worn thin, I could see the binds. I was taken by fear when I saw the truth, what I thought to be my freedom had held me captive. 

You were the faces of my memories, I forever hold you close. It is not because of lessened love that I appear to remain hidden. It isn’t you that I am leaving behind. I know that you have seen them, those troubling sparks inside me that have always burned brightly and coloured our conversations with something memorable. I want those flashes to be a beacon in the night. I will disappear into black, but I promise you’re not forgotten. Watch for the beacon and you will find me. I hope you have the patience to wait.

Blockbuster

We’ve all been there before, nestled in the clutches of boredom, shells of our former selves. Just sitting at home enduring one of life’s many preludes to excitement. Seconds feel longer, hours are nothing more than long droney sustained chords in an orchestra of tedium. The cupboards become prime hunting grounds and the best past time becomes stuffing your face.

In those moments, lost for inspiration, the lulling, coasting and ambling through the monotonous peace of personal space leave a demand to be filled.

What to do, what to do??

Our kindred folk and the assortment of mischief and sensibility we call friends might hold the key, the solution to unlocking some form of entertainment. Knights in assorted colored cladding of Armour.

Top solution …

A good old fashioned movie night! Who can say no to one of those.

Simply classic.

Credit immediately goes out to the pioneers, whose hard work an ingenuity, has provided the perfect excuse NOT to work hard.

Bring in the popcorn!!

The power of a moving picture to validate any voluntary or involuntary solitude can only be matched by that infantile fascination with an inanimate object. Even the humble paper clip alone has kept the young, and not so young me entertained for an illogical length of time. A good movie raises less eye brows, and makes for less work.

Here is where a team effort is required, consult your phone book, with obvious discretion.

Friends and family are an irreplaceable recourse in the field of suggestions. With a diverse collection of personalities and complimenting tastes in movies and interests, they can provide a hearty list of movies of which you can whittle down.

Not like you have anything better to do.

A recommended movie can be a lot like a blind date. A casual encounter with a friend of a friend, two strangers sharing the best part of an evening together.

Naturally whoever made the introduction has one job at hand, to sweeten up the deal! No one will willingly devote more than an hour of their life to a mystery date without some gentle persuasion. Experience has taught me that ignorance isn’t so blissful. The Human Centipede didn’t turn out to be the ground breaking documentary the title suggested.

The beloved match makers can vary in enthusiasm, taking there sweet time (or not) talking up this date. If this sales pitch is a team effort, the enthusiasm gives birth to such syncopated euphoria, echoing each other in chaotic cannon. They do there best impression of a used car sales man, a theatrical display of physical convulsions and verbal diarrhea.  The potency of enthusiasm cloaks the air thickly smothering doubt and setting the breeding ground for active curiosity.

The mind swims with so many ideas and solutions, the ideas grow irrevocably, and the mundane is moot.The empty space between excitement and excitement is filled with ample excitement and entertainment.

My paper clip origami is unparalleled, mastery that was over a decade in the making. But every now and the a good movie is a relaxing, healthy even. I need to stock up for my contribution to curing the boredom.

Its the simple things that make me smile.

The dull moments are robbed of there potency, made bright by the ember’s of the fires forged through time. Thanks go out to the daring few who stand so close to the epicenter of my lunacy and throw the occasional life raft when I’m wading in sanity.