This is a piece dedicated to the dispute within myself about where I am now, in relation to my heritage (Zambia). No matter where I am I always remember the role that my home country has played in building the person i am now. I often feel that need to reconnect and reaffirm that connection.
The silent cheers sicken me, my presence denied
I hope that scope and seasoning embellish my mind
Augment my arsenal and war my disdain
In the chambers of neigh Sayers let boredom sustain.
The lack of skill and timing tortures my dream
From ambition and destination I’m caught in between.
Maybe in time ill dance within that vector of fire
Filled with the gusto that adventure requires,
Then maybe my potential gains the respect I desire
And my Icy cold hide can shed its detest for the fire.
I think it betrays my vision how Idle I gaze
Stagnant, stood still, catching an eye full of days.
Observing life from distance, learning lack in an instant
The desire to breath burns me, yearning like and infant.
My presence on that pedestal is written in stars
I’m whittling, working hard till its filling my heart
Right in spirit, right in mind, right in body and soul
That with the fire in me the world will acknowledge my goal.
Tetanus tainted tools tucked tidy and tall
the guards of all my memories are hiding the walls
shelf to shelf of self in a shell full of thought
my potent deluded state of mind’s a health of a sort
health of distort, bohemian, unhealthy retort
to reality disrupting my delicate fort
a guise for the inner me, obscured from my enemies
My individuality is procuring an energy.
my departure from a sanity, requires some help
but i have a patchy allaby that I’m required to tell
freedom of speech, unique, changing the the script
My infantile id, lives in an ageless abyss
astranged from all my sences the five of us fall
succulent slaughter of sence so many adore
so deaf i stayed suspended in a bubble of peace
blissfully ignorant home of my sleep, grows with the weeks
We’ve all been there before, nestled in the clutches of boredom, shells of our former selves. Just sitting at home enduring one of life’s many preludes to excitement. Seconds feel longer, hours are nothing more than long droney sustained chords in an orchestra of tedium. The cupboards become prime hunting grounds and the best past time becomes stuffing your face.
In those moments, lost for inspiration, the lulling, coasting and ambling through the monotonous peace of personal space leave a demand to be filled.
What to do, what to do??
Our kindred folk and the assortment of mischief and sensibility we call friends might hold the key, the solution to unlocking some form of entertainment. Knights in assorted colored cladding of Armour.
Top solution …
A good old fashioned movie night! Who can say no to one of those.
Credit immediately goes out to the pioneers, whose hard work an ingenuity, has provided the perfect excuse NOT to work hard.
Bring in the popcorn!!
The power of a moving picture to validate any voluntary or involuntary solitude can only be matched by that infantile fascination with an inanimate object. Even the humble paper clip alone has kept the young, and not so young me entertained for an illogical length of time. A good movie raises less eye brows, and makes for less work.
Here is where a team effort is required, consult your phone book, with obvious discretion.
Friends and family are an irreplaceable recourse in the field of suggestions. With a diverse collection of personalities and complimenting tastes in movies and interests, they can provide a hearty list of movies of which you can whittle down.
Not like you have anything better to do.
A recommended movie can be a lot like a blind date. A casual encounter with a friend of a friend, two strangers sharing the best part of an evening together.
Naturally whoever made the introduction has one job at hand, to sweeten up the deal! No one will willingly devote more than an hour of their life to a mystery date without some gentle persuasion. Experience has taught me that ignorance isn’t so blissful. The Human Centipede didn’t turn out to be the ground breaking documentary the title suggested.
The beloved match makers can vary in enthusiasm, taking there sweet time (or not) talking up this date. If this sales pitch is a team effort, the enthusiasm gives birth to such syncopated euphoria, echoing each other in chaotic cannon. They do there best impression of a used car sales man, a theatrical display of physical convulsions and verbal diarrhea. The potency of enthusiasm cloaks the air thickly smothering doubt and setting the breeding ground for active curiosity.
The mind swims with so many ideas and solutions, the ideas grow irrevocably, and the mundane is moot.The empty space between excitement and excitement is filled with ample excitement and entertainment.
My paper clip origami is unparalleled, mastery that was over a decade in the making. But every now and the a good movie is a relaxing, healthy even. I need to stock up for my contribution to curing the boredom.
Its the simple things that make me smile.
The dull moments are robbed of there potency, made bright by the ember’s of the fires forged through time. Thanks go out to the daring few who stand so close to the epicenter of my lunacy and throw the occasional life raft when I’m wading in sanity.
Where survival serves the fittest, and the law is the wind
the morbidly winged work for acquisition of wins.
Tattered!! Hides torn, so wiery, so lame
yet undeterred from detest intent on playing the game.
Roaring flames, the fiery pride stalks,
anger accumulates in knowledge deprived talk,
sharp whispers swarm around to whittle the mane
that sustained a cool air when temperaments changed.
Eye (I) stick to the bone, with the marrow of truth
gnawing for facts collapsed by creative abuse.
Eexempt from the tempest so tempted by tongue
with pride, I peruse till every guise is undone.
December! Your stretch is drenched in a bitter stench!!
Frost and fermented fun, run course through your trench
I cower and quiver, besieged by the winters breathe
My patience for her whispers whimper to a splinters breadth
So I’m Befriending her enemy, warm, vivid and bold
A flickering fire, she finds means to limit the cold.
Teasing my every senses as she dances in place
The beautiful smell, sound, taste, warmth on my face
I watched the dancing amber’s in her house full of red
A spectrum of anger gifting them a comfort filled bed.
Misunderstood and abused, she lends herself to be used
Lacking direction, flicking wildly, I too am confused.
A pocket of warmth nestles these rebellious stones
A furnace for fine destruction, its pure power alone.
A straying few alone can lend distraction a home,
Ignorantly lit, the flames seductively moans.
Inviting, but protective, she doesn’t want me so near
Knowledge of her is obtuse and lends so rightly to fear.
Its light, a mere distraction from the beautiful feast
Visual deception, from the carnage at peace
My open palms stray wanting, such an ignorant lust
Naive humanity forges fire with gullible trust.
“Man invented fire”, how pompous and bold
Claiming to tame that element that saved from the cold
Natural and wild, beautiful but fierce
Even the darkest cloak will appease to be pierced.
Paving mans arrogance, just goading the gloat
The genesis of “genius” is suspended afloat.
Man invented the wheel, but we stumbled on fire!
She entertains our trust, such a humble desire
Her tantrums can claim lives, even level a fort
Devious minds of men merely embezzled a force.
She understands my respects and teases my skin
Against Decembers rugged touch, were achieving a win!