Out of the Fog

Image by Dan Martin https://danmartinartist.co.uk/

Blog read by Saili Katebe

Thanks to Yasmina Nuny for inspiring the inclusion of audio to the blog – https://yasminanuny.blogspot.com/

Welcome to the home of the Nomad. If you are reading this, congratulations on surviving 2020. It was one hell of a year, a lot happened in a short space of time, and now we have a fresh 365 to look forward to .

January 1st, for me, is the second of two days in my calendar that allow me to set intention and rethink direction. On every new year, and birthday, the truest new year I know, I take time to reflect and look ahead, 2020 gave me plenty to think about.

It was an interesting year for many reasons, it was the year I double down on creativity, it marked one year since moving back in with family, and having having a healthy performance season to look forward to, not to mention the shared chaos a global pandemic. The way we lived and connected with the world changed. Covid 19 joined forces with confusion to form a cantankerous parade of chaos, a bandit of clouds, a thorn in the side, foot and face of our very existence. These euphemisms only half begin to scratch the surface of all the ways it scrambled the year for us. For all the challenges and obstacles it presented, it shed light on what I can and should be grateful for.

My initial reaction to the first lockdown was panic. A potentially exciting year came to a screeching halt, every plan and adventure just melted away. I was left with the company of my family and the fall walls around me. The quiet was uncomfortable in the beginning, my motivation and drive to create dimmed and I was left questioning my decision to put so much focus on art. 

I missed the sounds of my world, chatter on the train, the theatre, that velvety air before a performance. I was away from all the things that I felt helped define me. With too many question and not enough answers, social isolation became the death of certainty, familiar things felt odd again, I was reintroducing myself to things I lived with, my bedroom, my reflection, even my own name. Saili became an ambiguous jumble of letters. Who was he without art? Were the late trains and trips out a town a sprint toward or away from something?

With nothing else to do but think and wait, I was able to recalibrate my personal compass. After a long time of out sourcing validation, I changed my personal point of reference, from an external to an internal one, Something I have to be deliberate about everyday, so whenever fear sets in about what my journey looks, or what I’m supposed to be doing based on what other people are doing, I remind myself that worrying about a phantom jury only robs me of a chance to live, to get some real-time feedback on life, and learn something about myself. Even while writing this, I’m wrestling my inner critic, still I move.

To be intentional about the shift, I made resolutions and goals, splitting my value system into four houses to help keep balance, lack of which played a big part in the early lock down confusion. I chose Mind, Body, Heart and Soul as my key headings.

For mind, it’s as simple as staying curious. Understanding that I am not the smartest person in every room, neither do I have to be. You cant fill a cup that’s already full, and you limit your opportunities to learn by assuming you have all the answers. Turn over every stone, ask questions whenever you can and keep going.

Body. I want to take better care of myself, without putting emphasis on aesthetic. My body changed a lot through 2020 but the emphasis should be on health and energy, and not what I look like, allowing myself the chance to stay present and ready for each day, doing less of what I know I shouldn’t be doing and more of what I know I should. More water, more movement, more sleep, less nonsense.

The people I share my life with are important, so the heart part of things is about connections. Celebrating my people, and prioritising those important relationships and building those bridges. It starts with giving them their roses, finding excuses to laugh, cry and learn together. Life is a team sport and it helps to keep an eye on that team chemistry.

Soul was an ambiguous category to pin down, it means both everything and nothing if I spend enough time thinking about it. I have chosen to look at is as my centre, a point I come back toti keep my compass steady. So im starting every day by sitting in my own company with all that heavy quiet inside and around me. Meditation will be an important anchor moving forward.

Odds are, you’ve had your own version of this journey. Either this past year or at some point in your life. I’m not trying to preach to the choir here. I’m not trying to preach at all. I just wanted to share my approach to this new year and restart this blog, for the 100th time in 10 years. I want to share with you regularly, be it sharing thoughts, insights and throwing a questions into the open. Hopefully, you can help answer some of the questions, or add something new to the conversation. I would love to build a community of minds and voices to help make sense of things and get talking.

I would love hear what your ‘Mind, Body, Heart and Soul goals look like for the year. Feel free to leave a comment visit the contact page to send a message and share with anyone you feel might enjoy reading this.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Stay Blessed

3 thoughts on “Out of the Fog

  1. The beginning of a new year does nudge us to re-evaluate and establish our intentions. I agree 2020 added a lot of intensity to that process. Trust and Ease are my words to operate with in this new year.

Leave a Reply