Writing 201, Assignment 5: Elegy – Fog


It feels as though assignment 5 of this course has come around fairly quickly. Fortunately I have had a chance to recover from my exertions during assignment 4. Today’s prompt is “Fog”, as usual the good folks of The Daily Post allow a great deal of creativity with the days theme. The poetic device suggested for today’s assignments is the Metaphor. The form for today will be Elegy.

1.(in modern literature) a poem of serious reflection, typically a lament for the dead.
synonyms: funeral poem/song, burial hymn, lament, dirge, plaint, requiem, keening; More
2.(in Greek and Latin verse) a poem written in elegiac couplets, as notably by Catullus and Propertius.

My concrete curse has left me here, void of any sweetness.

The sour sun has found me, foolish and full of weakness.

Defeated, rendered, speechless,
suffocating in a spectrum,

Plectrums of vivid voice penetrating my souls septum.

My shroud of sureness withered by effervescence of clarity,

Naivety holds ground on ever lessening gravity.

Greys, of golden days, are relegated to myth.

My misted haze, youth, has settled in an abyss.

(C) Saili Katebe

20 thoughts on “Writing 201, Assignment 5: Elegy – Fog

  1. This is great, although I will admit that some of the big words threw me off a bit, making it difficult to concentrate on the poem. I learned in one of my poetry classes to be cautious of doing this, as it can distract from the poems flow and meaning. Just some constructive criticism! 😉 Nice work though.

    1. Thanks 🙂 I really appreciate the constructive criticism. This is where I learn those important points. I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks for adding to my growth as a poet.

      1. Slow down there!! After 3 classes you must be a professional. 3 definitely beats 0 classes so I appreciate any constructive criticism.

      2. Hahaha! I have my BA in writing and a minor in professional & technical writing, so I had to take a plethora of writing classes in different genres. LOL. 😉

      3. Hahahaha! NOT! I STRUGGLE with technical stuff believe it or not. I was only 2 classes from a minor so I decided to do it. LOL. I do NOT actually plan on using it! 🙂 Although technically writing a blog is technical writing! (But hey, I can’t even figure out formatting on the thing!)

  2. Thank you, that’s such a gracious complement. I have sooo much to learn and this course is doing the trick at the moment. It means a lot that you enjoyed te piece.

  3. Hello! I had to read through a few times, but I gathered that you weren’t too fond of Day 4’s concrete poetry! 🙂 However, you created a poem in the shape of a beautiful tree. In addition to the requirements of today’s piece, I noticed you used a good deal of alliteration. Very nice! Enjoy your weekend…

  4. A deep poem and you have some great tips on this comments thread to help you so I won’t rehash them. I enjoyed the internal rhyme. You have a good ear.

    1. Thanks sam 🙂 . Yeah I’ve had some very useful tips to tighten up and keep the audience. You have any other tips feel free. I’m more than eager to learn and better the craft.

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