Writing 201 – Day 1, part 2: Haiku “Floating/fleeting”

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Today’s Challenge for Writing 201 has left me revelling in the allure of a newness. I’ve spent my evening pouring over the various submission to the days prompt with varying degrees of understanding, curiosity and awe. 17 syllables have trapped me in fascination and I fail to shake there grasp. With the same brief still in mind I have decided to contribute another poem. Another haiku to further confuse my idea of rhythm, meter and prose, and to better talk in a finer tuned tone of brevity.

FLEETING/FLOATING

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Sprawling anxious waves
Alive like stolen secrets.
Every breath recedes.

 

19 thoughts on “Writing 201 – Day 1, part 2: Haiku “Floating/fleeting”

    1. Thank you! I’m glad you appreciated it. It came to me from an odd direction but it felt right, I’m glad it worked. The feedback is much appreciated ๐Ÿ™‚

  1. Again you picked one of my favorite images. I can feel the breathing as the wave rolls in then back out. I’d never thought of that before. I loved what you said in your little preamble or whatever. I feel exactly the same way. I bet you’ll like Strand’s book.

    1. Thank you, I had to make a seconds attempt at the haiku, it was playing on my mind since the first post for the course. I’m glad I could make good use of the 17 syllables. I hope to write more of these.

  2. Haiku is so much more than 17 syllables, such as “sabi” and “Kigo” to name a couple of features. I think the more you read up about certain poetic forms, the more you can incorporate these in your poetry. That said, I love the imagary you have created in your poem.

    1. Th haiku has really stuck with me, I’m very interested to learn more about it. A blogger suggested a book on the art and I’m waiting to dive into that. If you have any resources or advice on the form I would be very greatful.

      1. Very simply, as you ask so nicely, Japanese haiku always contains a message such as a certain inevitability about life, it talks about natural simple things which can relate to a wider symbolism, such as talking about a rook on a bare branch – suggesting loneliness/isolation as a human condition. It often mentions a season “kigo” and this might be a mention to snow, so you think of winter. Another feature is “sabi” which relates to feelings of say, quietness and isolation and this will come across in the imagery used which will produce in the reader an emotional response such as sadness and sympathy. Your haiku was spot on in many respects even though you were not aware of these points. I am no expert on haiku, but I did an Open University course which touched on this. If you are interested to know more, google “haiku” and the rules of haiku. Basho is a famous poet who wrote haiku and you might like to read his poems. I hope the little that I know about this has helped.

      2. Thank you very much!! That was a pretty comprehensive break down of the haiku. I get a clearer picture of it. I’m definitely looking to read into it more and okay with it a lot more.

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